I wish

I wish I could say to you the things that you want to hear. Deep down you want to hear them, but on the surface...you won't. I want to crack that shell again, that inpenetrable fortress that you keep creating around yourself. I wish you would let me in again. I want to hold you all night while you weep and tell me everything that bothers you.

I thought about your situation today, and I know that if it happened to me, I would feel the exact same way. Funny how it seems a little odd to me now, but I hope I'll never feel the same way that you do, because it would mean something terrible has happened.

I'm so worried that something is going to happen to you, my friend. And that I will reach the same fate as our mutual friend...barely living on the edges of existence, falling into my mind. But it is not that fate I am afraid of, only a life that must be lived without you, because I love you more than life itself.