Friendship

What does friendship mean anymore? One of my best friends and I have grown apart, and I honestly never saw it coming. I don't feel like we have anything in common anymore. She is the friend I have had the longest, and we have spent most of our teen/tween years as friends. But in the past year and a half, she has changed. She doesn't want to believe it, but she has. And I honestly don't like who she's become. There are some things she's doing lately that just bother me, like she's heading down a really risky path, and she's going to end up hurt. She can't see it...but I can.

It's her birthday this weekend, and instead of being excited about going, I'm trying to think of excuses NOT to go. I don't want to be there. I don't like her friends, I don't like the venue, I don't like bands. I would rather stay at home. Growing up is hard. Growing apart from people is hard. But she has become toxic to me, jealous of me, criticises every choice I make. I don't need her in my life anymore. After almost 10 years, how you tell that to someone?

I'm expecting to hear the news of her pregnancy soon. She doesn't know it yet, but she's going to become pregnant this year. I've known it for months. I didn't want to know, but hey...here we are. I tend to know these things. From the other side of the world, I dreamed when she lost her virginity. I dreamed when she was in emotional distress. I know stuff, and don't know HOW I know. But I always know.